Discover why your only real power is over yourself—and how learning this truth can transform your life and relationships.
Almost every day I remind my girls: you deserve love and respect.
I tell them to be respectful and kind to others, but never forget to love and respect themselves first.
The Wake Up Call
Something shifted inside me when my daughters were born. It dawned on me that I would be their role model. And I made a painful discovery: I had low self-esteem. I wanted them to be confident, strong, and to love themself. I needed to do better.
I had a difficult childhood. I’ve come to understand that parents often raise children while carrying their own unresolved struggles, repeating patterns passed down through generations. For years, I believed I had broken that cycle. But then I realized: if I didn’t love and respect myself first, I was simply repeating the same patterns I had learned as a child. And my children might unknowingly repeat them too.
That realization made it urgent for me to work on increasing my own self-esteem and stop harmful self-talk: blaming myself, excusing others even when they hurt me, and struggling to give myself grace. I am still learning to say, “Stop. I deserve better.” I know I have to teach my children not only through words, but by modeling what healthy self-esteem looks like.
The Hard Truth About Control
It’s enough of a responsibility to work on our own personal growth. The weight becomes overwhelming when we also try to change others.
The truth is: we have no power over other people’s thoughts, decisions, or actions. We only have power over ourselves. And that is the most liberating realization of all.
If you haven’t yet read The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins, I encourage you to pick it up — it can truly change your life. Mel explains that we often go through life trying to control everything around us, because control makes us feel safe. It shields us from the fear of uncertainty. But in the process, we waste enormous amounts of energy trying to mold other people to fit our expectations.
I spent years exhausting myself trying to change people close to me. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t. Because nobody has the power to change someone else.
So I have decided to preserve my energy. To focus on my own goals and priorities. To align myself with my purpose instead of trying to control others.
It is emotionally draining to keep giving people power over how we think and feel. But here’s the key: they only have that power because we gave it to them. Which means we can also take it back.
Reclaiming our power means refusing to let anyone else dictate how we feel, or how we spend our time and energy. When we focus inward, our peace and self-control not only improve our own lives, but also positively impact the people who matter most to us.
There’s Only One Thing You Can Control: You
Our time and energy are limited, so we must give them the value they deserve.
Everyone has the right to have their own opinions, moods, and actions. We can’t control that. But we can control ourselves. Our true power lies in how we respond to others. We can’t control their choices, but we can control whether we engage, how we react, and what we allow into our lives.
This shift is liberating. When we accept that people will be who they want to be — regardless of us — the pressure lifts. We’re free to focus on what really matters.
Some relationships may not survive this process, and that could be painful. But the relationships that do survive will become stronger and healthier. And, most importantly, our quality of life will improve.
So, What Should You Do?
- Pause before reacting. When someone’s behavior affects you, pause. Process your emotions.
- Remind yourself: You deserve love and respect.
- Detach from control. Stay calm. Detach from the need to control. You have no power over other people’s thoughts, feelings or actions.
- Only you should have power over yourself. Others have no power over you unless you hand it to them. You give away your power when you let someone else’s words, moods, or actions define your worth.
- Choose your response. Choose your response deliberately. That response is what reshapes the dynamic of your relationships — and ultimately, your life.
You can’t control others, but you can control yourself. Your response to what happens around you is your greatest superpower. Using that power wisely can transform your life—and the lives of those you love.
👉 I’d love to hear from you:
Have you ever caught yourself giving away your power to someone else’s words or actions? How did you reclaim it? Share your story in the comments—I promise, your experience might inspire someone else.
I believe in you.
See you next week.
With love,
Silvia
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