Choosing the right partner is one of the most important decisions of your life

“You’re not going to fall for the right person until

you really love yourself and feel good about how you are.”

Emma Watson

3–5 minutes

Have you been accepting less than the love you deserve?

Love is one of the most powerful forces in the world. It can lift us higher than anything else, but it can also cause deep pain. We all crave love, and sometimes we want it so badly that we unknowingly give our power away—placing our happiness in someone else’s hands. That’s when we settle for less than we deserve.

Deep down, you know what you want and what you deserve. But if your only focus is having a partner—regardless of whether the relationship aligns with your values—you may close off the possibility of finding the right one. This can lead to relationships that are unloving or even disrespectful.

You deserve an amazing love story.

Building Healthy Relationships

Only you know what you’ve been through in your search for love. Relationships aren’t perfect—movies have taught us wrong. A real partnership requires effort: learning to communicate, to compromise, and to truly understand each other. Boundaries are also essential, and they come from self-esteem and self-worth.

Whenever you internalize another person’s actions or feelings as proof that you’re not enough, you hand over your power. And the balance in the relationship shifts.

If You’re in a Long-Term Relationship

Your relationship can grow into something more fulfilling and meaningful. Sometimes, that requires working together to build a deeper connection. Other times, it means recognizing that your current relationship doesn’t align with your values.

Our minds often play tricks on us—we create an idealized version of our partner and then ignore behavior that doesn’t match. We make excuses when they don’t prioritize us, show us love, or meet our needs. We hope they’ll change, or worse, believe we can change them by giving more of ourselves.

But every time you justify neglect or disrespect—when they don’t call back, don’t make time for you, or don’t care about your goals and dreams—you give away your power.

It takes courage to see people as they are. Their actions show you their priorities. Believe them.

It is not ideal, but sometimes the healthiest choice is to leave. Yes, it’s scary to face the unknown, but you deserve to be in a loving relationship.

Having a long-term relationship takes a lot of work. And if both people are willing to do their part, and if there’s love and respect, it might be worthy.

In just a couple of months, my husband and I will be celebrating 32 years together. Looking back, I realize how much these years have taught me about love, commitment, and also about myself—and I’d like to share some of those lessons with you. Stay tuned.

If You’re Single (or Guiding Your Children in Dating)

Being single is an opportunity to clarify what you want—and to commit to never settling for less. Dating can be overwhelming and frustrating, but it’s a valuable process. By meeting different people, you learn more about yourself, what you value, and what you won’t tolerate.

The goal isn’t just to “become someone’s partner.” It’s to live with purpose, pursue your dreams, contribute to others, and build a fulfilling life.

Don’t mold yourself into someone else’s idea of “worthy.” Having challenges or past wounds doesn’t make you unworthy of love. You don’t need to change who you are at your core.

Dating is more about saying no than saying yes. With clear standards, dating becomes a process of elimination. Stay true to yourself. Be brave enough to be authentic. You decide who gets your time and energy—that’s where your power lies.

The Heart of It

You shouldn’t spend your energy second-guessing someone’s feelings. Pay attention to their actions—they reveal who they are and how they value you. If it doesn’t align with your standards, have the courage to walk away.

Nobody else can create the life you dream of. That power belongs only to you. A healthy partner won’t hold you back from evolving; they’ll grow with you. The right person is not a rescuer or a fixer, but a teammate—walking beside you as you both build a meaningful and fulfilling life.

I’d love to hear from you: What is one thing you have learned for a past or current romantic relationship? Do you believe your romantic experiences are helping you have more clarity about your expectations and boundaries? Share your thoughts in the comments.